Another tea-party like post. Written to record what I had and what I shall miss.
There is one fellow who always plays “Oh my friend” song from Happy Days. Yes, that Maa tv/music/movies fellow only.
Arey whether he has no brains or what? Same movie is played as sunday blockbuster/ family week special/ star special/weekend masti movie. Thu max. Okay, I won’t digress. Coming to topic of this post- “oh my friend”.
Every time you see that song, you are reminded of the futile plans you made to go on a tour with friends. From there, you’ll slip into memories of college and no one can actually bring you back to present. Loud shrieks from mom/dad are not counted aa.
I am also reminded of three idiots when I hear any friendship song. Not Aamir,Sharman and Madhavan. Actually wait! One of them is like Aamir. Bold and Optimistic. One is like Sharman. Cute and God-fearing. Another is like Madhavan. I won’t tell why. (Hint: Madhavan has a sweet smile and was a rage when he was not plump 😉 )
First of my three idiots counts every calorie she eats. What interest you will have to have such people as your friends- you only tell? Whenever I say I want to have Gulab Jamun, she says lets have ganne ka juice, it is sweeter and healthier. And when she is forced to eat junk, shabba hell only. We haven’t been to a single dine out in which she did not utter the word “gym”. I think my blood’s boiling point is very low. It always sizzles when she denies to have junk food. Sometimes she used to ask me to wakeup early and jog with her in the big football ground. I always wanted to ask her how can someone be so heartless- disturb a sleeping friend ? That too for jogging? I’d rather skip a meal than run a mile.
I always imagine kicking her with all my might but will only put up a smiling face. Why because I cannot do that alone. I need idiot-3 to help me. But idiot3 is always busy talking/messaging to someone or the other on her phone. How much she uses that phone is beyond your imagination only. Has anyone heard of Nokia supernova’s panel getting damaged? She had to replace it for extensive usage. I always tell her to write to Guinness records. She won’t listen.
Sometimes I’ll run to the second idiot to tell her how I felt about idiot-1. Idiot-2 is our mataji. All she needs is a temple, some icecream as prasad and pujarins like us to offer our prayers. Mataji means not the one who brings ash from palms and does all that black magic. She gives us very nice advices on how to love people even if they hurt you, how not to show your anger etc. How will you feel if your friend gives you quotes from thinkexist.com when you’re complaining about someone-you only tell? She thinks I don’t know all that or what? Boss, even I got 97% in Moral Science at High school. Whether I have any morals or not is a separate question.
One manufacturing defect she has is that she never gains an ounce even she has loads of ice-cream from BR. I think I put on kilos even if I inhale air properly. But one special feature she has is- she always knows how to comfort her devotees. She will cajole me by flattering me with praises. I generally maintain the serious stature when taking compliments but eventually I give up. I think my melting point is also very low. Again, manufacturing defect boss.
Third idiot is the best in giving and taking happy news. It shows in her face that she is super jubilant. She is always busy talking/eating/smiling. What I mean is she never shuts her mouth except when in sleep. You get the point no? Talking means not normal talking. Talking at God level. She is the queen of sarcasm. One litmus test you can take to believe that you are spontaneous is converse with idiot-3 without giving up. If you survive it, you’re Rajnikanth only.
Some idiot told her that her smile is cute. So she always smiles (tries to smile) like one doll. I will kill that rascal if I find him. Else what man? Now a days, even if we scold her she is smiling. Arey, we are using UN-parliamentary language on her and she is laughing means what to do? I think she should become a host in some Telugu channel’s dial-in program. No other person can be as shameless as them. They just know how to smile. That’s all.
Whether you’re thinking there’s nothing good about my three idiots. Idiot-1 stands up for whatever she speaks. She is very candid. Idiot-2 not only gives lectures but follows them in practice. She is a leader. Idiot-3 will teach you how to stay unperturbed by life’s ups and downs. Perfect positive thinker she is. Now you’re asking me what do “I” have? Sorry boss, I won’t tell. I am shy!