Being an ardent lover of films, I am often seen standing in the ticket queue outside cinemas , waiting for the balance due at the popcorn counter inside the hall or rushing to the screen not to miss the title credits. Be whatever theatre, 70MM screen in our locality or some multiplex , these sets of people have never missed my attention inside the hall.
I don’t care when your film starts: Such people solicit their gracious presence only after if it is at least half-n-hour past the start of film. I understand not everybody is so particular about the reel on family planning or INC like me and moreover it is not a weekly status meeting in a software office for everybody to be on time. But dear audience, because you’re already late, it is your courtesy to quietly settle down in your allotted seats and not disturb the poor chaps who are deeply engrossed in the movie by stamping their foot and spilling your popcorn/ sweetcorn/ whatever on them. To err is human , I understand. But then to apologize is divine these days.
Booo, I missed it: Thanks to the wonderful accent and impeccable acting skills of our actors, sometimes we cannot understand what is happening onscreen. People in this set nudge their neighbors and ask them to explain the script/humor from the point they missed. Nothing wrong in being curious, but not at the cost of someone’s comfort. Imagine how bad it would be when you’re enjoying your favorite song on screen you hear some loud caws from behind.
Look at my new smartphone: Smart phone is something which we can surely show off. But not inside the theatre after the film has begun. The person sitting in your front holds his iphone in the air killing apps or dismissing reminders. Thu! Imagine a romantic scene in progress and you hear a crackling ringtone that nearly makes you jump off your seat. I had such experience one day. There was a scene in which one of the supporting characters died and a ringtone which meant “this was due for long” started playing promptly. The owner dint silence the call. Instead, after letting it ring for sometime he answered the call and started talking to someone staying overseas. Yeah, I could easily make that out from the volume in which he was speaking. He talked about the CBI raids on Jagan, chances of Telangana over united AP and how his little daughter kicked his mother-in-law which he wanted to do.
‘Home theatre’: A cinema is not a home theatre. It is meant for use by 200-300people. People who are presumably tall might have a problem resting their legs on ground. Hence as soon as the slide “Do not put your legs on the front seat” is shown, they’re reminded of their duty. You want to sip your Pepsi but instead you see a dirty boot on your arm-rest which has already kicked your glass off it. Some people rest their heads on their hands objecting the screen from view. All you get to see is the swanky watch, trendy bracelet and a small sneak-peek for you in between the hands. You can do your favorite neck exercise to peek.
Baby don’t cry: Everybody loves babies. So do I. But not cry babies and touch-me-nots. Also, I also have lost respect for parents who ignore their babies’ cries and shouts. Is not their duty to at least go out with the baby and come back after he/she stops crying? Tackling babies is difficult sometimes (ask my parents), so dismissing this. Some kids(not babies) are real menace. They repeat dialogues and sing songs while their parents proudly keep watching and others give them nasty looks. I have turned a monster for such kids these days. I made it a point not to calmly bear the noise but to at least politely ask the kids to be silent.
That’s it for now. If you want to say “as if you never did this earlier” to the above- I can only say this: I almost barge into the hall when the cleaning staff come out, I never talk when the film is on run because I do this work(only this) with utmost concentration, my smartphone was outsmarted long time ago, I’m not that tall ( sad no, I know ) and I don’t have babies/kids.