Preparing for the interview!

Are you on the verge of completing your graduation/PG?
Did you recently get a job?
Are your parents taking too much interest in wedding stuff?

Congratulations, your placement season has just begun. The slightest hint you get about this is when your parents ask how do you like your recently wed cousin’s groom. Give a positive answer, they take it as a green signal for them to begin the hunt. Give a negative answer, a long lecture on “what makes a man a perfect groom?” will follow. Eventually, the search for the groom begins and all of a sudden, you start hearing about some damn relatives/family friends whom you thought never existed.

Meanwhile, Singles- your dreams of meeting Mr.Perfect will continue to be dreams and prepare yourself for changing your ideas on perfection. Others, Try watching films like HDDCS, Mounaraagam(heavy dose I know),etc to know how to get over your past relationship. Watching English sitcoms is one easier way to do it. While you are mentally preparing for the unprepared, the atmosphere gets heated up, thanks to relatives. When in a crowd, Remember to smile shyly while replying anything that has the term “wedding/groom” in it. If you don’t want to look into someone’s face, keep your head down and draw figures with your toe. If you don’t want to stay in that place, smile for one last time and rush to your room. All these are signs of your being shy.

One fine day, you will find your mother/father super jubilant when talking to you. You can easily guess what is coming- A marriage proposal! Act surprised and look at the groom’s profile with a mixture of emotions-coy and happiness. The location of the guy will certainly be US because it is your first marriage proposal. Your parents will convince you to go and meet his parents because the hero cannot(will not) fly down to meet you for the talks. Do not try to compare him with your man in dreams, there are feeble chances of any matches. You cannot express your opinion right away because it is too early and you don’t know him. You just have to say ‘OK’ despite of your not liking him (much). You feel like someone is throwing you both ends of a rope when you’re drowning(NOTE:this line is copied).

Then follows a training session on how to conduct yourself when you’re with your prospective in-laws. Don’t talk too much because you’ll seem talkative or naughty. Don’t talk too little because you’ll seem dull or haughty. Greet well, speak well and fare well to show you’re the right person for them. But of course to be selected, you’ll have to be better than the other shortlisted candidates.

Had your stars been lucky, You’re done with one such interview and the wedding follows. You still cannot express your opinion about the guy because it is too late now. Even if you dare to open up, thousand mouths will convince you saying you’re lucky enough for being liked by someone so early in the hunt and lucky for flying to US. Before you even accept whats going on around you, you will sit in the plane and go whee!

If you do not clear this interview, the same people who were mad about that alliance will start picking holes in it and and say it is good that it has been called off. You can whine about it for some time but will have to smile as if it makes no difference to you. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll be asked your preferred qualities at this time and henceforth coming proposals will be of some value. Else, the whole process repeats. What a pity!

The whole process of arranged marriage seems flawed to me. What makes it to a successful marriage? Learning about groom’s family history through someone else- how reliable is it and how far does it help? Is it enough if he is employed with some dream company and earns dream salary? Is it enough if his parents are well settled and the boy has no financial responsibilities towards them? Nothing can ever guarantee a successful married life. If at all there is something that can make some difference, it is the comfort level the boy and the girl should have with each other. This ,of course, cannot be proof-tested before marriage. Love marriages do not guarantee this either. Love birds getting divorced is also not uncommon these days!Srija and Sirish (if at all they can be called lovers) stand the best example.

Marriage is a gamble. Whether you win/lose is your luck. The only difference is that some know their opponent before hand and some do not. Some will have people to cheer the game and some will have to play it alone. Of course, some will have everything but do not win. Few will be lucky enough to meet their Prince Charming and so they win. I wish all the soon-to-be gamblers good luck!

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15 thoughts on “Preparing for the interview!

  1. True life lo ninchi kuda konni incidents teeskunnattu unnavu ga 😉
    Good to see that you pointed out the whole US groom-mania thing. And yes, caste is the first thing you should have mentioned 🙂
    Kani nijamgane entha pedda gamble e marriage ante… we are putting our whole life at stake… quite scary 😐

  2. Nicely articulated article, really liked the content, also one more reality ( i.e., two fold caste) that gopal has mentioned.

    Anyhow, this post did inspire me to write the boy’s side story in whole drama 🙂 do look forward to it.

  3. Hmmm…Interesting topic….and ofourse the hot topic…btw anu , the first thing that caught my eye was the image :):) and frankly…I don’t have nething to comment but I am sure I am in for many “surprises” 😛

  4. Arranged marriages are less risky. Essentially, in good old days, as ppl used to stay at homes, their atmosphere and background of family is enough to testify the character. But in this WWW age, I dont think those parameters are sufficient but thats the baseline system and it guarantees performace, best? cant assure you but thats possible 😀

    btw you should have take Sidhu’s name for that two ends of the rope thing , he deserved that much 😛

  5. Well written :). Good to know what happens on “the other side”. I will tell you what, don’t sit for the interview unless you really think this can work out by talking to groom etc.. There you get a chance to express your opinion. You go through this process only if you dun’t have a strong opinion about the proposal or you are afraid to say it :).

    • Haha, like I said, even if a girl gets a chance to voice her opinion, thousand mouths will try to convince her. If she is adamant, then several things can happen. The situation may turn violent in some cases, completely silent in some cases, some parents may give up soon or some girls may give up. If there are parents who can sit with the girl to understand her problem and who can propose some solution, it will be great. The gamble will at least start on a pleasant note. I’m sure I will have a pleasant game thanks to my parents 🙂 And I pray that I win.

  6. Bring in the caste factor, you will get clarification of all your doubts. Caste actually restricts your choice to get a groom closer to your dreams.

    But no one will even think about arranging a marriage without considering caste factor because the only reason Indian parents bother about their children’s marriage is to make sure that they dont marry outside their caste.

    The couples who marry outside their caste because of love, they will be discouraged constantly by parents of both sides. Every simple quarrel will be exaggerated and may result in the divorce cases we know in love marriages. But the same parents will put all their efforts to ‘save’ a failed marriage if it was of the same caste. (love or arranged). Even same caste love marriages fail sometimes because initially the couple ‘fell’ in love because it is easy to convince their parents though they are not that compatible.

    So in Indian context, it is unfair to discuss about arranged marriage vs love marriage without considering the psychological effect caste plays.

    • Why?I know it!
      Most of the Indian parents would enjoy Shahrukh come and take Kajol away but not even half of them would give their daughter to someone like that. If we’re talking about an alliance that is arranged by elders, the boy is definitely of the same caste and his financial status is better/equal to that of the girls.
      One thing I don’t understand is how will I get the answer if I look beyond “caste”. I love the second paragraph you wrote. Very true!

    • @Daka,

      Sadly, with the current situation of the society, caste does the worst job ever. The choice of the groom/bride. after being restricted to caste, is now further restricted based on “education qualification”. A computer engineer’s parents are in search for another computer engineer. Looks like, NOW, we have a two fold caste system in place. The second one is not yet so strict in nature though (luckily!!).

  7. Nice one. Marriage is like OS. Love marriage – Windows (Very attractive but not reliable). Arranged Marriage – Linux (Reliable but not very attractive).

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