I suddenly felt the place was as silent as a grave. Not because there were no vehicles around and not because they weren’t honking (which is impossible to happen in Hyderabad). If Sudha’s parents agree, she can spend rest of her life just listening to him, I thought to myself. Again, merely listening to all that men say isn’t a trait of today’s women. May be she can have him read newspaper or novels for her.

Suddenly I heard his phone ring.
“Hello Sudha“
“Yeah at the bus-stop.“
She must have come. I dint want to see how they both look together because I was happy with just the audio.
“Where are you?“
“Ok, I see you.”
I heard his voice fade away and turned back to see Sudha come. Sudha or sudhakar came to meet him. Both of them talked for sometime and happily boarded Gitam’s engineering college bus. The bus sped away from the place leaving me behind with a wide smile and a tale to tell!

An ideal birthday has to be like this:

• If you ask me, both the birthday and the day before are anticipated. The day before birthday is special because the festive mood starts slowly setting in. Friends would repeatedly ask about the birthday dress, chocolates and party details.
• Father would come home early and take his little girl for shopping. Mother, like a waiter in Shankar Vilas/Gayatri Bhavan, would take down the list for next day’s party. The heroine would be equally busy.  Packing chocolates in a big round bottomed box, cajoling mummy for Rs.50-100 so that she can buy something in the school canteen and thus making her sibling jealous of her.
• Next day is real fun.  The birthday girl puts on the dress and will admire herself for such a pretty one.  This is one day she wishes was not a school holiday or some exam day.
• She stands in the morning prayer proud and confident as numerous eyes check her out. The class would sing “happy birthday to you ,many boyfriends to you” and she would coyly smile at the song.  She distributes the chocolates and invites her dear ones for the evening party.

PS: Remember to say something good about her and her dress, the birthday girl is really fishing for a compliment when she is talking to you.

• In the evening party, the drawing-room in her house would be decorated with balloons and party papers. Cake is ready and luring. Numbered candles are lit and the routine follows. Remember to take a gift wrapped in colored paper for the birthday girl. Your Rs.500 in an envelope wouldn’t count as much as the Rs.50 pencil box wrapped in teddy’s gift paper would do.
• People disperse and the birthday girl will sit unwrapping the gifts till late night. Ask her the next morning, she’d  say she got X pencil boxes, X-1 pen sets and X-2 board games as gifts.
•  Next day, she is no longer ‘the birthday girl’ and hence no longer special. Her boring school uniform is back and so is she singing “happy birthday to you” for some one else. She sadly looks at the calender wishing every year had just two days.

Here I am wishing every year had just two days and I wouldn’t age every year. The terrible fact that I was born before this millennium began is making me feel I belong to stone age. Jokes apart, I have decided the little girl in me wouldn’t grow at all. Let her tummy grow, I will pamper her with golgappas and pastas. Let her like zaree saris and not kurti-jeans like she used to. I will buy her whatever she wants.  In short, the princess in me shall remain royal like ever despite of changing seasons.

PS: All ARR fans will like changing seasons. So do I

Next post would be Two-to-Tango. Nothing related to IIIT. I promise

I don’t care when your film starts:  Such people solicit their gracious presence only after if it is at least half-n-hour past the start of  film. I understand not everybody is so particular about the reel on family planning or INC like me and moreover it is not a weekly status meeting in a software office for everybody to be on time. But dear audience, because you’re already late, it is your courtesy  to quietly settle down in your allotted seats and not disturb the poor chaps who are deeply engrossed in the movie by stamping their foot and spilling your popcorn/ sweetcorn/ whatever on them. To err is human , I understand. But then to apologize is divine these days.

Booo, I missed it:  Thanks to the wonderful accent and impeccable acting skills of our actors, sometimes  we cannot understand what is happening onscreen. People in this set nudge their neighbors and ask them to explain the script/humor from the point they missed. Nothing wrong in being curious, but not at the cost of someone’s comfort. Imagine how bad it would be when you’re enjoying your favorite song on screen you hear some loud caws from behind.

Look at my new smartphone:  Smart phone is something which we can surely show off. But not inside the theatre after the film has begun. The person sitting in your front holds his iphone in the air killing apps or dismissing reminders. Thu! Imagine a romantic scene in progress and you hear a crackling ringtone that nearly makes you jump off your seat. I had such experience one day. There was a scene in which one of the supporting characters died and a ringtone which meant “this was due for long” started playing promptly.  The owner dint silence the call. Instead, after letting it ring for sometime he answered the call and started talking to someone staying overseas. Yeah, I could easily make that out from the volume in which he was speaking.  He talked about the CBI raids on Jagan, chances of Telangana over united AP and how his little daughter kicked his mother-in-law which he wanted to do.

‘Home theatre’:   A cinema is not a home theatre. It is meant for use by 200-300people. People who are presumably tall might have a problem resting their legs on ground. Hence as soon as the slide “Do not put your legs on the front seat” is shown, they’re reminded of their duty. You want to sip your Pepsi but instead you see a dirty boot on your arm-rest which has already kicked your glass off it. Some people rest their heads on their hands objecting the screen from view. All you get to see is the swanky watch, trendy bracelet and a small sneak-peek for you in between the hands. You can do your favorite neck exercise to peek.

Baby don’t cry: Everybody loves babies. So do I. But not cry babies and touch-me-nots. Also, I also have lost respect for parents who ignore their babies’ cries and shouts.  Is not their duty to at least go out with the baby and come back after he/she stops crying? Tackling babies is difficult sometimes (ask my parents), so dismissing this. Some kids(not babies) are real menace. They repeat dialogues and sing songs while their parents proudly keep watching and others give them nasty looks. I have turned a monster for such kids these days. I made it a point not to calmly bear the noise but to at least politely ask the kids to be silent.

That’s it for now. If you want to say “as if you never did this earlier” to the above-  I can only say this: I almost barge into the hall when the cleaning staff come out,  I never talk when the film is on run because I do this work(only this) with utmost concentration, my smartphone was outsmarted long time ago, I’m not that tall ( sad no, I know ) and I don’t have babies/kids.

One bad day, I had to take an auto to some place X in Hyderabad. I could have taken a city bus  but then I should know how to cling to a bus in motion by means of a rod.  Sadly I don’t. So I walked out of our office and saw someone heading towards me with his hand pointing to me. Did I do something wrong? Then I heard his shout-”Auto madam“. The term ‘Auto madam’ sounded funny. It didn’t sound as ‘Auto? Madam’ to me. It sounded as ‘Auto madam’. It was funny and misleading just like Aishwarya Rai singing ‘Auto auto wada..nuvvu automatic wada..’ in Robot. As I am very smart, I understood what he meant and told him my destination with some landmarks.
He: Bait (Sit in Hindi)
Me (thinking – How do Madam and “Bait” go together? Is it not “Baitiye“?)
Me: (Pointing to an electronic device so new that it can be put up in Industrial fair as an exhibit)Is this meter working?
He: Meter?
(He gave me a nasty look as if I had asked him to give away his salary. Then he started speeding from that place with a nod.)
Me: Okay bhaiyya, How much do you want? (I had no other choice!)
He: You tell me madam.
Me (thinking – Why does he really want to know?)150
He: Give 250. Come sit.
Me: 250 is too much.
He: Madam, I have to come back alone.
Me (thinking – Did I say Mars/Saturn instead of X?)
Then I lectured  him about the latest report of census taken in X, how likely it is for him to get another passenger from that area and made him agree to come for Rs.240. I know I will not and cannot become rich by saving that Rs.10. It is a matter of prestige and victory of good over evil.

Hyderabadi auto drivers are very talented and unmatched. Our auto traveled with the speed of light. It managed to get into any gap in between two vehicles however small it was. The driver kept me entertained with popular songs like pakistani ghazals and remix of Raja’s ‘jabilli kosam ‘in some alien language. He noticed that I was not able to talk over phone and increased the volume so that I will have a reason to hang up. How understanding he was! He made sure he hit at least one pedestrian on road and made me learn one more cuss word. After reaching the landmark, I made him stop the auto just a few feet from there. He charged Rs.10 for that extra distance, took Rs.250 which he first quoted  and fled from that place in triumph. He thus taught me a lesson not to be lazy – I should have been active and should have walked to my place from that landmark.

I turned back with red face only to see him bargaining with someone and they immediately gave in. Smart people know it is no use bargaining with auto drivers. I am having second thoughts about my profession now. Why not buy an auto-rickshaw for myself and sit outside a SW office after the company shuttles leave?

I cannot resist Graphjam so here we are. Indian Film song lyrics explained with simple graphs. I promise, this will be the second last time I will be “inspired” (like Anu Malik) to remix a popular Internet meme for desi purposes. First we explore the Hindi Film Industry, or as Cineblitz chooses to acronymize, HiFI UPDATE: My 90 minute drive back home from office resulted in these Priyank gives us a lesson in the geographic origins of day to day i … Read More

via Doing Jalsa and Showing Jilpa

Dosa, as they call it,
my all-time favorite snack.
Some magic it has,
which all other eatables lack.

Add fine chopped onions,
and any masala powder a pinch,
Some divine flavor will add up,
and you’ll devour its every inch.

Dosa can be of many shapes,
distorted India being common.
It can also be oval
like the face of someone.

Only few can make it round,
and get it off the tawa very safe.
Many a times it gets torn,
Uncooked and bad it will chafe.

Do not forget the chutney,
that of coconut is yummy.
Enjoy your dosa like a Royal,
till it fully fills your tummy.

I request my friends and acquaintances to leave a score (For every point, +1 if you think it is true and 0 if you think it is false). It is sure fun for me to know!!

1. I prefer comfort to fashion.
2. Though I always look and act confused, I am pretty stubborn and adamant in making some decisions.
3. I often lie to please/console someone.
4. I dream big! Very very big. In one such haunting dream, I drove a space shuttle which was designed, built and tested by me. And in another one, I was honoured by some senior government officials in front of a large crowd.
5. I want to be a film-maker. This is not a vague thought which everyone who has a camera would have. I really want to be a film-maker. I have a story, I can pen lyrics for the songs and also tune them. All I need is just someone to finance and an audience.
6. I like footwear and watches.
7. I hesitate complimenting someone though I have tons of such good words in my mouth.
8. I act stupid sometimes to know more about something.
9. I get ecstatic when I hear to the sounds of Shehnai (Sannayi) and heavy percussion instruments (in order).
10. I never explicitly state my love/hatred for a person but I like it when others are being expressive. (Mean, no?)

More later!

PS: Gopal, Bharat, Harshita, Divya, Sushma and Rohit: Your comment is a must!

Congratulations, your placement season has just begun. The slightest hint you get about this is when your parents ask how do you like your recently wed cousin’s groom. Give a positive answer, they take it as a green signal for them to begin the hunt. Give a negative answer, a long lecture on “what makes a man a perfect groom?” will follow. Eventually, the search for the groom begins and all of a sudden, you start hearing about some damn relatives/family friends whom you thought never existed.

Meanwhile, Singles- your dreams of meeting Mr.Perfect will continue to be dreams and prepare yourself for changing your ideas on perfection. Others, Try watching films like HDDCS, Mounaraagam(heavy dose I know),etc to know how to get over your past relationship. Watching English sitcoms is one easier way to do it. While you are mentally preparing for the unprepared, the atmosphere gets heated up, thanks to relatives. When in a crowd, Remember to smile shyly while replying anything that has the term “wedding/groom” in it. If you don’t want to look into someone’s face, keep your head down and draw figures with your toe. If you don’t want to stay in that place, smile for one last time and rush to your room. All these are signs of your being shy.

One fine day, you will find your mother/father super jubilant when talking to you. You can easily guess what is coming- A marriage proposal! Act surprised and look at the groom’s profile with a mixture of emotions-coy and happiness. The location of the guy will certainly be US because it is your first marriage proposal. Your parents will convince you to go and meet his parents because the hero cannot(will not) fly down to meet you for the talks. Do not try to compare him with your man in dreams, there are feeble chances of any matches. You cannot express your opinion right away because it is too early and you don’t know him. You just have to say ‘OK’ despite of your not liking him (much). You feel like someone is throwing you both ends of a rope when you’re drowning(NOTE:this line is copied).

Then follows a training session on how to conduct yourself when you’re with your prospective in-laws. Don’t talk too much because you’ll seem talkative or naughty. Don’t talk too little because you’ll seem dull or haughty. Greet well, speak well and fare well to show you’re the right person for them. But of course to be selected, you’ll have to be better than the other shortlisted candidates.

Had your stars been lucky, You’re done with one such interview and the wedding follows. You still cannot express your opinion about the guy because it is too late now. Even if you dare to open up, thousand mouths will convince you saying you’re lucky enough for being liked by someone so early in the hunt and lucky for flying to US. Before you even accept whats going on around you, you will sit in the plane and go whee!

If you do not clear this interview, the same people who were mad about that alliance will start picking holes in it and and say it is good that it has been called off. You can whine about it for some time but will have to smile as if it makes no difference to you. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll be asked your preferred qualities at this time and henceforth coming proposals will be of some value. Else, the whole process repeats. What a pity!

The whole process of arranged marriage seems flawed to me. What makes it to a successful marriage? Learning about groom’s family history through someone else- how reliable is it and how far does it help? Is it enough if he is employed with some dream company and earns dream salary? Is it enough if his parents are well settled and the boy has no financial responsibilities towards them? Nothing can ever guarantee a successful married life. If at all there is something that can make some difference, it is the comfort level the boy and the girl should have with each other. This ,of course, cannot be proof-tested before marriage. Love marriages do not guarantee this either. Love birds getting divorced is also not uncommon these days!Srija and Sirish (if at all they can be called lovers) stand the best example.

Marriage is a gamble. Whether you win/lose is your luck. The only difference is that some know their opponent before hand and some do not. Some will have people to cheer the game and some will have to play it alone. Of course, some will have everything but do not win. Few will be lucky enough to meet their Prince Charming and so they win. I wish all the soon-to-be gamblers good luck!

A short review of Mahesh’s Filmography:

I consider him to be a hero/a good protagonist only in the movies released after ‘Murari’. It was already a hit by then and it was just G.O.O.D according to me. More points to the director and Sonali(Yeah, I like her).

As per me, I’ve always had Mahesh fever though I never let anyone know this. Probably it dates back to ‘okkadu’. Fight with Prakash Raj at kondareddy buruju marks its beginning. This film is always special according to me though there have been bigger hits. It has a neatly woven plot and superb performances and to top it all, it made Mahesh a heartthrob of many girls. Honestly, Ajay of Okkadu is a dream boy for me (okay, one of the dream boys).

‘Nijam’ was a delight to the critic inside me. Who would not like his action as a hapless boy seeking revenge for his father’s death? This movie is an excellent showcase for his talent. My feelings got stronger with ‘Arjun’ though it dint do well at box office. The twins seemed fresh and though the sentiment was old, it was not boring. Dream_boys+=Arjun.

When ‘Athadu’ was released, Cupid stroke again, this time very hard. Some votes for Trivikram too, he is the cook who has made the dish so well. I am still teased for the magic ‘athadu’ title song has done to me. I rate it 5/5. I somehow feel that no one else would have suited this role so well.Dream_boys+=Nandu. A Classy leather jacket was the vogue for some time after ‘Athadu’ became a blockbuster. ‘Pokiri’ set a new trend – both in clothing and tollywood. Krishna manohar IPS was the most talked of. A trough after the crest- ‘Sainikudu’ bombed at box office but it was acclaimed by Mahesh fans. He was (and obviously will continue to be) the right choice for the role.

Then came the period I wouldn’t like to even mention of. A caution for all Mahesh fans- do not ever watch Rajakumarudu, Vamsi, Yuvaraju and Athidhi.

‘Khaleja’ revised almost the entire chapter of my liking for him. Though a taxi driver clad in provogue tshirts and reebok shoes is too much to take, Seetharama Raju made them all dismiss ible. Again, Dream_boys+=Raju.

I may not be a Mahesh maniac like Swathi in Ashtachemma, but I seriously enjoy watching him on screen. With no second thoughts, I declare him to be the best looking actor of his era. I know gals would agree to this(!). And boys, Its not your mistake after all, Mahesh is that enviable!