Off you go and I’ll never see you again,
Leave my heart and let it moan in pain.
Don’t call this love, for you’d never really know,
Gloom and gloom all over ,usurping me very slow.
My eyes went misty for every word you spoke,
Tears were of joy ,of which my heart did choke.
My eyes are still misty,now that I know whats true.
Tears today are of sorrow, all because of you.
Queer it seems, the world that is outside.
I’m seeing it anew with a burning heart inside.
Eyes that saw only you ,can’t take this anymore.
“Let alone the world, we wont open “,they swore.
Lips that talked of you and only of you,
stopped talking ever,sick of everything that is blue.
Ears which heard your sweet voice,
now cannot bear a note too, everything seems a noise.
Wounded heart is all I have, a wound that never heals.
It can hear only you who hurt it and tell you how it feels.
It always sees you in itself and makes a wish daily,
Hoping that you’d come back and love it this time truly.
PS: By God’s grace, I am no way related to this post. I wrote this to have a post in the genre “compassion”,one of the 9 emotions.
9 responses so far ↓
@nks // January 31, 2009 at 1:44 pm |
I m not a big fan of senti poems …
but this one is certainly an exception …
u should start putting copyright to your work …
Deepti // January 31, 2009 at 1:45 pm |
^ : ) ^
Loved every bit of it!
Ghost Runner // January 31, 2009 at 2:31 pm |
duh !
Anonymouse // January 31, 2009 at 3:12 pm |
Few suggestions:
- profoundly describe it as a psychological fixation. It is in your head and not in your heart.
- include and connect fear, truthfulness, loss and spirituality.
- infatuation, delusions does not come out well.
PS: I certainly love your poem but it lacks depth.
Ghost Runner // January 31, 2009 at 4:38 pm |
@ anonymouse
actually it does have depth !!!
Judging by the framework oriented fixation of your comment, it lacks ‘reading under the lines’ ….
For instance, when a person describes feelings, being able to “express and not over-analyze” instinctive feelings is a sign if respect for what is pure and pristine! No one’s trying to be Tennyson here, are we ?
Ambati // January 31, 2009 at 5:42 pm |
Chadavagane first badesindi. (I read it before the PS was written…) So e sari nunchi ilantivi rasetappadu PSlu marchipokunda rayi
. You have successfully conveyed the ‘compassion’ emotion.
9 emotionslo anni kalipi okati rayi kummesidi…
prateekgv // January 31, 2009 at 6:06 pm |
i agree with @nks.
Devansh Mittal // February 2, 2009 at 5:48 am |
Nice one!
It did not remind of the feeling of compassion, but yes it reminded me of Attachment. How Attachment hurts and continuously occupies our mind.
dark-knight // February 12, 2009 at 10:37 pm |
beautiful
. will read more